Dealing with Porn
I recently gave a youth talk that touched on the problem of porn. Here are a few follow-up thoughts to what I said in my talk.
The Scope of the Problem
Porn is everywhere and it’s easy for people to form a habit of viewing porn. A recent national study of 1,985 Australians aged 15–20 found that 86% of young men and 69% of young women had seen pornography, with many first exposed years before their first sexual experience, often alone, at home, and via smartphones. Boys were significantly more likely to seek it out intentionally, view it frequently (more than half weekly), and start using it at a younger age than girls. While curiosity was the most common motivation, unintentional exposure (e.g. pop-ups, social media) was also widespread.[1]
It’s also a problem for Christians. A recent American study from Barna found that 54% of confessing Christians reported viewing pornography occasionally (at least), compared with 68% for non-Christians. Almost one quarter of Christians said that they look at porn every week.[2] I don’t have statistics for Australian Christians on hand, but I would imagine that we are fairly similar to our American cousins.
Why It’s A Problem
Some people think that porn is a private problem. It’s not. It objectifies people made in God’s image. As Vaughan Roberts outlines in his book The Porn Problem, it cheapens sex, objectifies people, damages self esteem, harms the young, corrupts its users, turns people in on themselves, undermines marriages and future marriages.[3]
According to the Barna study I mentioned above, 84% of porn users say they have no one helping them avoid pornography, and nearly half (48%) of practicing Christians who use porn report that no one knows about their usage.
It’s a huge problem.
But, even worse than that, it enslaves us and has the potential to keep us out of God’s kingdom. In 1 Corinthians 6:9-10, we read:
Don’t you know that the unrighteous will not inherit God’s kingdom? Do not be deceived: No sexually immoral [ pornos] people … will inherit God’s kingdom.
Here, Paul tells us that those who are unrighteous will not enter God’s kingdom. The sexually immoral are included among the list of people who will not inherit the kingdom. The Greek word for “sexually immoral” here is pornos from which we get the word “pornography”. Pornos refers to any sexual activity between one or more persons outside of the context of marriage—this includes pornography. Paul is saying that if someone is consistently and unrepentantly unrighteous, they will not inherit God’s kingdom. So, if someone is consistently and unrepentantly looking at porn, they will not inherit the kingdom of God.
Why We Use It
So then why do people—including Christians—use porn?
Porn is a false refuge. People turn to it for comfort, escape, or control when they feel lonely, bored, stressed, or ashamed. There’s a lot more that can be said here, but I think that this is at the heart of it.
The Gospel Offers True Freedom
The good news of the gospel of Jesus is that we are no longer slaves to sin. We are set free. In John 8:34 and 36 we read:
Jesus replied, ‘Very truly I tell you, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. … If the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.
Jesus offers real freedom.
In 1 Corinthians 6:11, directly after warning us of the exclusion from the kingdom of those who refuse to repent in verses 9-10, Paul tells us:
But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
In Jesus, there is the hope of being washed, made holy, and declared righteous. His Holy Spirit—who literally has “holy” in his name—has the power to make you holy and free.
The gospel has the power to free us from the grip of anything—like porn—that seeks to enslave us.
I love the way Vaughan Roberts spells out this freedom when compared with the reasons people use porn:
You don't feel loved? He loves you more than you can even begin to understand.
I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.
Jeremiah 31:3You feel out of control? He overrules every detail, not just of your life, but of the whole of the world. That means you can trust him absolutely.
Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father's care. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
Matthew 10:29-31You feel looked down on, as though no one likes you? Jesus knows your sin and yet he still wants to lift you up.
He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes and makes them inherit a throne of honour.
1 Samuel 2:8 [4]
Practical Strategies
So the gospel frees us. But that doesn’t mean we do nothing.
We’re saved by grace alone. But the grace that saves us is not alone. It doesn’t mean that we don’t respond.
The Holy Spirit transforms us. But he transforms us as we make decisions to repent. Here are five simple steps to repenting.
🙏 Confess.
Confess your sins to God, knowing that he will forgive you.
8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness. 10 If we claim we have not sinned, we make him out to be a liar and his word is not in us.
1 John 1:8-10
Confess to another Christian as well. Don’t be part of the 48% of Christians who use porn report and keep it to themselves.
Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
James 5:16
↪️ Repent.
Turn away from porn and toward God.
Repent, then, and turn to God, so that your sins may be wiped out, that times of refreshing may come from the Lord.
Acts 3:19 (NIVUK)
A time of refreshing comes when we turn away from sin and to God.
🏃 Flee.
But don’t just turn away from porn. You need to run away. Flee!
Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
1 Corinthians 6:18
Run away. Don’t sin against your body. Flee.
To do this, you need to make things as easy as possible to do the right thing.
Software. The most basic thing you will need to do is set up accountability software across all devices, with a trusted Christian as your accountability partner. This will also block unhelpful websites, making it easier to do the right thing. Consider using something like Covenant Eyes.
Therapy. Depending on the nature of your habit, you need professional addiction therapy. Your GP will be able to help you find such therapy.
Downgrade. If you’re really serious about fleeing pornography and previous efforts have failed, you will need to consider switching from a smartphone to a dumbphone.
🤺 Fight.
The porn problem doesn’t just “go away”. It’s a battle. We need to prepare for battle. As Paul tells us,
Put on the full armour of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes.
This will mean turning to the Word of God (aka “the sword of the Spirit”, Ephesians 6:17), our weapon against lies. This will mean praying to God “in the Spirit on all occasions” (Ephesians 6:18), knowing that he is able to do immeasurably more than we could ever ask (Ephesians 3:20).
And we fight as members of an army.
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ.
Galatians 6:2
Sin grows in secrecy. Freedom grows in fellowship.
🔄 Replace.
Finally, in addition to saying “no” to porn and “yes” to God, we need to replace our desires with better ones.
Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.
Philippians 4:8
Hope
It’s possible you might stumble from time to time. Don’t give up. Get back on the horse, and keep going. Remember 1 John 1:8-9:
8 If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9 If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.
@rolcye
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Disclaimer: I use Grammarly and ChatGPT to detect my typos.
Notes
[1] Crabbe, Maree, Michael Flood, and Kelsey Adams. “Pornography Exposure and Access among Young Australians: A Cross-Sectional Study.” Australian and New Zealand Journal of Public Health 48, no. 3 (2024): 1–7. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.anzjph.2024.100135.
[2] David W. Smith, ed., Beyond the Porn Phenomenon: A Practical Theology of Pornography (London: SCM Press, 2022).
[3] Vaughan Roberts, The Porn Problem (Oxford: The Good Book Company, 2018), 21-29.
[4] Vaughan Roberts, The Porn Problem, 33-34.
