How to Crush Discussion Groups at Youth
As a youth leader, the 30-40 minutes you spend in discussion groups could well be the most important thing you do each week. For a short period of time, you get to disciple a bunch of youth as you press into the most important things they will ever discuss with another person.
1. Be clear on your objectives
Be clear on why you’re running a discussion group. Is it exclusively a Bible study? Is it exclusively a time to reflect on the talk? Is it exclusively a prayer group? Or a support group? Is it exclusively a time to have fun?
I reckon it should be a combination. I reckon discussion groups work best when you give enough time to:
Fun. Enjoying each other’s company, mucking about, sharing how life is going etc.
Bible. Going deep into the Word, reflecting on what we’ve just heard from the talk, evaluating how faithful the talk was to the Word, and thinking about implications for our lives. I’m a big fan of the “reverse engineer” model. (See below under point 6).
Prayer. Praying and giving thanks to God.
2. Prepare well
This requires preparation. Probably not as much as if you are running an adult Bible study. But I reckon leaders should still commit 30-60 minutes each week preparing for discussion groups. Things to think about in preparation:
Prayer. Have you prayed for the youth and for the discussion group time?
Passage. Do you know what the passage is? Have you read it? Do you know the context? Structure? Big idea? Supporting ideas? Application? Have you hassled the person on talk for their thoughts on these things?
Notes. Have you been supplied with any notes or commentaries that might help you prepare? If not, hassle your team leader. It’s a reasonable request!
Questions. Have you got a copy of the discussion questions? If not, hassle your team leader! Or whoever is responsible for writing the questions. Thursday night is too late. You should have them no later than Monday, and preferably weeks earlier!
If you don’t have discussion questions, use what I suggest under point 6 as a guide to writing your own.
3. Don’t skimp on prayer
I reckon that prayer is the thing that most often gets neglected in discussion groups. Usually it has to do with time management, either because leaders don’t know the time, or they don’t know what time they’re supposed to finish.
So, be clear on what time you’re meant to finish, and know the time. Hassle your team leader to tell you what time it finishes. And get a watch. Checking your phone looks like you’re checking your messages.
Sometimes, it can help to pray first, to make sure that you don’t run out of time. However, I reckon it usually flows more naturally to look at the Bible first.
Encourage the youth to pray and give thanks about:
Stuff from the talk
Stuff to thank/praise God for
Stuff to ask God for
People to invite to Youth (or to invite to know Jesus)
Some other good tips on this front:
Help them generate ideas. “Hey Bernie, you told me you have exams coming up.”
Keep a record. Have a note of their prayer points and friends, and refer to it each week. This shows that you genuinely care for them and their friends. This also helps to make sure the group doesn’t forget any prayer or praise points
Think personal, local and national. Think of prayer and praise points for yourself, for people you know, and for the world at large.
Be careful who you ask. Know who’s in your group. If there’s a new person or super-shy person, don’t put any pressure them to put forward prayer points. Make it so they can if they want to, though.
Don’t force people to pray. That’s a no-no.
Don’t pray around the circle. Getting people to “pray for the person on your right” works in an adult Bible study of Christians, but at youth, they probably won’t all be Christians, and probably won’t all be ready to pray out loud. And, even if they aren’t, if they know their non-Christian friend will have to pray out loud when they come to youth group, they probably won’t want to invite them. Instead, just invite the youth to pray as they feel comfortable. As you get to know them, you might start to encourage them more to give prayer a go.
5. Don’t skimp on fun
After prayer, I reckon fun gets skimped on the most in discussion groups. Often, I’m so keen to get to the Bible that I forget to hang with them. Have some fun.
For older youth, some simple questions will do the trick. How was your week? Highlight/lowlight? What was something new or good from your week?
Younger youth may need something a bit more structured. A game or an activity. Celebrity heads? Empire? Have a pushup challenge. Or a burpee challenge. Be creative.
If they have shorter attention spans, you want to spend more time on the fun. Otherwise, they’ll go crazy during the Bible time and you’ll end up having to get them in trouble.
6. Don’t skimp on the Bible
Most youth leaders rightly prioritise the Bible. But I reckon that we can sometimes we confused as to what we’re meant to be doing, especially given that you’ve probably just heard the talk.
I reckon the “reverse engineer” model works best, although I often mix it up. With the reverse engineer model, you basically just reverse engineer the talk.
Prayer. Pray for God’s help as we read his Word.
Link. I start off with a question or a scenario linking their normal life experience to the world of the Bible passage and talk.
Recap. I then get them to recap the big idea of the talk/passage and the main points of the talk/passage.
Read. I then get them to read the passage again (unless it’s a massive chunk)
Evaluate. I then get them to check where the points came from in the passage. I ask them if the person giving the talk got the points right. I’ll bounce off this a bit with a bunch of questions.
Apply. I’ll hone in on the main application point and get them to discuss what this might look like in their lives.
This is definitely not the only way to do it. But I reckon it works well, provided the talk is clear and easy to follow.
Remember that some of the youth won’t know much about the Bible at all. Be sensitive to this and finds ways of making them feel included. This is where a good “link” question is helpful. Try and make it that anyone in this group can easily answer the question. This makes the members of your group feel a bit more confident.
7. Don’t settle for Sunday School answers
You’ll often get youth who know all the answers, but only at a superficial level. They know the answer is “Jesus”, “the Bible”, “pray”, “share the gospel”, but it feels like there’s no real depth to their answers. Here are some helpful tips to keep in mind (I’ve “borrowed” these from Youthworks):
Point to Bible: “Where did you get that from in the passage?”
Draw out: “What do others think? What do you think Bob? What else can we add to what Mary has said?”
Dig Deeper: “What makes you say that? Can you tell us a bit more about that?”
Prompt conflict: “Is that really true? Who would agree with that?”
Correct when necessary: Not every answer is valid. Don’t let them believe something that isn’t true.
Be Ambiguous: You don’t need to answer every question, even if you know it… sometimes it’s beneficial to let them feel the tension of an unanswered question.
Ask for an illustration: “Paint a picture of that idea. Where have you seen that in life?”
Survey: “How many people had that as their answer?”
Summarise: “Who can summarise what’s been said up to now?”
8. Embrace silence
You ask a question. Silence. Nobody. Says. Anything.
Your gut instinct will always be to fill the silence with noise. Don’t! Instead, embrace the silence. Give them time to think. Don’t just answer the question yourself.
People have different processing speeds. Embracing silence gives them time to think deeply about their response. It reduces the pressure of having to answer immediately, and it cultivates patience and respect. It can also change the dynamic of the group in a helpful way.
It’s awkward, I know. But it can really help!
If, after 20-30 seconds nobody has said anything, check if they understand the question. If they do, ask it again. If they don’t, clarify.
9. Keep inviting on the agenda
You want your youth to be inviting their friends to youth group and to come to know Jesus (that is, to share the gospel with their friends). Use discussion groups as a way of keeping this on the agenda. Keep an eye out for passages that encourage youth to share the gospel with their friends. Keep encouraging the youth to pray for friends to invite along to youth group, and encourage them to pray for courage.
10. Keep welcoming on the agenda
As with inviting, use discussion groups as a way of keeping welcoming on the agenda. Keep an eye out for passages that encourage youth to love and welcome and care for outsiders. Keep encouraging the youth to pray for a welcoming culture at youth group.
You could even use this as a time to say, “Hey guys, I noticed that Billy in the other group didn’t have many people talking to him. Do you reckon you guys could chat with him after youth group tonight, and keep an eye out for him in future weeks?”
11. Keep service on the agenda
Likewise, keep service on the agenda. How can the youth be involved in serving? On Fridays, could we (if appropriate) get them involved in welcoming, or running a game, or praying, or reading the Bible, or MCing, or with music, or with running the discussion group?
On Sundays, could they (if appropriate) help out with Kids’ Church, or welcoming, or Morning Tea?
Keep encouraging them to think about how they can use their time, talents and treasures for the gospel. But also make sure you do what you help them along the way!
12. Give the youth a go
Off the back of that, why not give one of them a go at running the discussion group one week? You’ll need to help them a fair bit. But this can be a great opportunity to train up future youth leaders, and can give them a new sense of ownership. This isn’t your group, this is our group.
