How to Crush Teamwork

I hate it when people talk about teams. I find it cringe. At my school, the classrooms used to have posters that said stuff like, “Teamwork. Teamwork. Teamwork. Teams work.” Or “Teamwork makes the dreamwork.” So so lame.

In youth and kids’ ministry, we’re aiming to help youth and kids become like Jesus to the glory of God. This means helping them grow in their faith as we read the Bible and pray, as we focus on mission and inviting people to know Jesus, creating a welcoming atmosphere, and being active in serving.

But we do this together as teams. As cliche as it is, doing ministry stuff together in teams means we achieve heaps more than if ministry stuff is done not in teams. But, if the team isn’t functioning well, it can also be a disaster.

I’ve been on teams where all the leaders were completely on board with the vision and mission of the ministry. The leaders have all been really well trained theologically. They know their Bibles well. They relate well to the youth or kids. But the vibe on the team was toxic and it compromised the ministry. People felt bitter, betrayed, frustrated, unheard, under/unvalued, disrespected, patronised, disliked, dismissed (sometimes, dismissed as theologically dodgy, even though they completely were not!). And that’s just by the other leaders/team members. I’ve seen this lead to division, schism, sacking, and even the destruction of the faith of certain leaders.

Here are some tips on how to do a great job as a team and avoid things getting toxic.

1. Remember why you’re doing it

Remember, it’s not about you. It’s not even about the youth or kids, or the other leaders. It’s about God and seeing God glorified. We see God glorified as we, the youth, and the kids grow more like Jesus, inviting people to know him, welcoming those he welcomes, and serving him.

You will have preferences on how you think stuff should be done. You may well be right. But at the end of the day it’s not about you. It’s about God.

(For more on why we’re doing what we’re doing, see this article.)

2. Communicate

Remember to communicate. In the lead-up to Youth or Kids’ Church, comms will be flying about. Emails. WhatsApp. Facebook Messenger. Phone calls. Sometimes, you may not be a heaps big fan of the way your team communicates. At some point it may be worth raising that, especially when it gets hyper-annoying.

But … for a team to work, there needs to be some communication. And for that communication to work, everyone needs to participate in communicating. So when someone communicates with you, it’s vital that you respond.

As the person sending a message, be reasonable about your expectations on how quickly someone should respond. As the person receiving a message, be reasonable about how long you take until you respond. I can’t really tell you an exact time gap of reasonableness between when a message is first sent, and when the responder responds. Every team is different. But work out what you as a team think is reasonable, and be reasonable!

3. Be on time

You’ve communicated during the week. Now it’s game time.

Be on time. Work out how long it takes for you to get ready. Work out how long it takes for you to get in the car, drive to church, get out of the car, and get to the location of your team meeting. And be on time.

Aim to get there 5 or 10 minutes early. Then you have some buffer time for when something goes wrong.

Occasionally, something will happen when something goes wrong and you’re running late. But if you’re consistently late, it makes things difficult for your team and for your team leader.

The team doesn’t know when to start the meeting. Or team members get grumpy because they’ve made the effort to be on time but you haven’t. Or they get frustrated because they have to do all the setup but you don’t.

And then the team leader has to manage the frustrations of the group. They have to make the decision about whether to risk confronting you and upsetting you, or not confronting you, and so upset the rest of the team!

Something that someone once pointed out to me: if there are 6 members in a team waiting for me for ten minutes, that’s sixty minutes of people’s time I’ve just wasted!

Jesus calls us to love one another. Being on time is a great way to love others!

4. Know how you’re feeling

When you turn up on Friday night or Sunday morning, you may be feeling anywhere from 100% to 0%, from Michael Scott to Stanley Hudson. If you’re feeling like Stanley Hudson, it’s really important to know how you’re feeling. If you’re feeling rubbish or tired or exhausted and you’re not aware of that, you’re more likely to say something unhelpful, or rude, or snarky, or discouraging. That won’t help the team. That could be destructive.

Instead, as we read in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, we want to be the kinds of people who “encourage one another and build up each other, as indeed you are doing.”

5. Set good vibes

And on that note, set good vibes. Vibes are contagious. If someone brings positive, happy, energetic vibes, it spreads, encouraging others and making them feel cheerful. Likewise, if someone brings negative, bitter or grumpy vibes, it spreads and makes people feel awkward and anxious. Whichever way it goes, it can have significant longterm effects on the team members and the effectiveness of the ministry.

6. Be the change you want to see

When you see something that needs to change, think through how you can be the solution to the problem. Sometimes there will be something that needs to be fixed and you won’t have the capacity or power to fix it. You’ll need someone else to fix it. But when there is something that needs fixing or changing, see if you can do it.

For example, if you notice a kid using their phone at the wrong time, don’t wait for another leader to address it. Address it yourself.

Or if you see that the room needs vacuuming, grab the vacuum cleaner.

7. Be alert but not alarmed

It’s super helpful when team members really care about what’s going on and are committed to making stuff happen. Aim to be alert to what’s going on, and how you can jump in and help.

But in a team context, it can be unhelpful if you move from “alert” to “alarmed”. If you’re feeling alarmed or anxious about something that is going on, it may well be a reasonable response. However, be super careful. This is not to say, “you may never feel anxious”. But if we don’t monitor our anxiety levels carefully, our anxiety can spread to others. Try and be a “non-anxious presence”. This is something I continue to have to work on!

8. Say something but not everything

Sometimes stuff will happen that you don’t like. Someone will do or say something that you don’t like. It’s important that you have a voice and feel like you’re able to say something. However, it can be tempting to say everything that you’re thinking. This can overwhelm people (this is something I need to work on too).

This is a tension every team member needs to wrestle through in debrief meetings. When you’re debriefing, to what extent should you share your thoughts? Does this need to be raised with the whole team? Should I share this with the person individually? This is the time to raise stuff, but people are often exhausted and have places they need to be.

If you see something that the team needs to address, it’s often really helpful for this to be raised. But also be careful to read the room and monitor how much you should raise stuff. Sometimes, for the sake of team vibes, it’s better to ignore something and move past it. Other times, you simply have to raise something. You won’t get this one right all the time, but work on it!

I reckon most people need to hear three or four positive things to every negative thing they hear. So keep that in mind. So when we say, “say something”, remember to say lots of positive stuff too. If you see someone do a great job talking to a kid, let them know. If you see someone do a great job running a game, share that with the team.

9. Hang out

Hanging out can really help with team vibes. Not with the express purpose of chatting ministry stuff, but just for the sake of hanging out. Hanging out is a great way to build relationships, break down barriers, and boost camaraderie and feels. And it’s just fun.

Be careful that you don’t become exclusive or cliquey. You don’t want people saying, “Those Kids’ Church peeps or those Youth peeps are so exclusive and keep to themselves and never talk to anyone else. They’re so exclusive.” But at the same time, hanging out with certain people and not inviting everyone is totally fine as well.

10. Pray

Remember to pray for your team. Pray that the team will get along. Pray for chemistry. Pray for the group to click. Sometimes we can’t fix problems between people. But God can. Also, it’s hard to be resentful toward someone when you’re praying for them.

In Bible times, Jews and Gentiles didn’t get along heaps well. Not ideal teammates. But God turned them into the most powerful movement known in human history.

God can make teams work. God can make the teams work such that the dream does, indeed, work.