2 Corinthians 6:14–18. Yoke
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Have you ever realised that spending lots of time with a person or group started to shape you more than you expected?
I reckon this happens to people all the time. You spend lots of time with people who like basketball—you start to like basketball. You spend lots of time with people who drink coffee—you end up drinking coffee. You hang out with people who swear all the time—soon you start catching yourself about to swear. The people we spend time with influence us profoundly. And it can influence us spiritually as well. Which is why it’s important we think hard about who we are “yoked” with.
The idea of yoking comes from farming. A yoke was a wooden frame that joined two animals together so they could pull a cart. Once they were yoked, they had to walk together, in the same direction, under the same load.
If they weren’t quite the same size, that’d create a bit of a problem. That’s why God told Israel, “Do not plough with an ox and a donkey yoked together” (Deuteronomy 22:10). Oxen and donkeys were too different to pull properly together. They’d pull each other off course and make the journey impossible for each other.
Paul picks up this image of yoking in 2 Corinthians 6 as well. He’s not saying Christians can’t have non-Christian friends. He’s saying we need to be careful about the close relationships that pull us spiritually. Because the people we are joined to will shape the direction we walk.
He’s seeking to answer this question: How should belonging to God shape the relationships and influences we bind ourselves to?
His big idea is this: Since you belong to the living God as his kids, don’t be yoked to what pulls you away.
Don’t Be Yoked With Unbelievers
Paul begins with this command: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers” (2 Corinthians 6:14). What does he mean?
He’s not saying Christians are donkeys or camels or anything like that. And he’s not saying we can’t talk to non-Christians or have friends who don’t believe in Jesus. After all, Jesus spent time with people who were far from God all the time. And Paul says that if Christians refused to associate with non-Christians, we’d have to leave the world altogether (1 Corinthians 5:9–10).
So what’s he saying? He’s saying we shouldn’t bind ourselves to someone or something in such a deep way that our lives start pulling in the same direction. He’s talking about deep, significant partnerships. With super close shared direction and stuff. Being joined so closely that their direction starts becoming your direction and vice versa.
To make his point, Paul gives five contrasts: righteousness and wickedness, light and darkness, Christ and Belial, believer and unbeliever, and the temple of God and idols. Belial is another way of referring to Satan, so Paul is drawing the strongest possible contrast. Christ and Satan don’t belong together. They don’t work together. They don’t pull in the same direction. That’s Paul’s point with all five contrasts. These things don’t belong together.
So Paul is saying: watch where you hitch. Because if you bind yourself deeply to someone or something that is pulling away from Jesus, don’t be surprised when you feel yourself getting pulled too.
2. You Belong to the Living God
That leads to Paul’s next point: you belong to the living God. He says, “For we are the temple of the living God” (2 Corinthians 6:16).
In the Old Testament, the temple was where God dwelt with his people. It was the place of his presence, set apart for him. In the Gospels, Jesus becomes God’s dwelling place (John 2:19-22).
Now Paul says God’s people are his temple. Through Jesus, God has come to dwell with his people by his Spirit. This means that Christians now belong to the living God.
That’s why Paul quotes God’s promise: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people” (2 Corinthians 6:16).
So, if we belong to the living God, we can’t keep welcoming the things that pull us away from him. Just like idols don't belong in God's temple.
3. Live as His Sons and Daughters
We belong to the living God. But not just as loyal subservient subjects. It goes deep. We’re his sons and daughters.
Paul next goes to a string of Old Testament promises. He picks up language from places like Isaiah 52:11, where God calls his people to come out from uncleanness, and 2 Samuel 7:14, where God promises to be a Father to David’s son. Paul writes in verses 17–18:
“‘Come out from them and be separate,’ says the Lord. ‘Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you.’ And, ‘I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters,’ says the Lord Almighty” (2 Corinthians 6:17–18).
The point is simple: we have intimacy with God. We are God’s children. We can call him Father. That’s better than any intimacy another person can offer. Better than romance. Better than popularity. Better than being accepted in the group chat. This is a big deal.
And that should drive how we think about relationships and influence. If a relationship gives you closeness with a person but pulls you away from closeness with God, is it really worth it? Probably not, right? If an influence helps you feel accepted by others but makes you colder toward Jesus, is it really your friend? Probably not, right?
You have God as your Father. You have a place in his family. Don’t yoke yourself to what pulls you away from him.
The Question You Were Wondering About
So far we’ve asked: how should belonging to God shape the relationships and influences we bind ourselves to?
Paul’s point is this: since you belong to the living God as his kids, don’t be yoked to what pulls you away.
Now, when most people think about 2 Corinthians 6, they immediately start thinking about dating and marriage. Can Christians date non-Christians? Can Christians marry non-Christians? Is it sinful? Is it wise?
First things first: dating and marriage are not directly mentioned in this passage. In context, Paul seems to be dealing with a much bigger issue. The Corinthians were living in a city full of idols, temples, sacrifices, and pagan worship. And some of them were in danger of treating those things as if they didn’t really matter. They could belong to Christ, but still flirt with idols. They could be God’s temple, but still make peace with the things that opposed him.
That’s why Paul talks about righteousness and wickedness, light and darkness, Christ and Belial, the temple of God and idols. He’s not narrowly answering the question, “Who can I date?” He’s asking a much bigger question: what kind of partnerships, influences, loyalties, and compromises are actually pulling you away from the living God?
So we shouldn’t pretend this passage is only about dating. It’s bigger than that. But it’s still relevant for dating.
Quick Aside: Marty’s Dating Advice for Teens
For Christians, dating normally leads in one of two directions: marriage or breakup. If it ends in breakup, that’s often painful and messy. If it leads to marriage, then it really matters who you marry. Which is why I reckon when you’re in high school, you’re usually too young to be taking on the pressure of dating and thinking about marriage. It’s a lot. It’s not fair on you. It’s not fair on the other person. So my basic advice is: don’t date yet.
But a time will come when dating does make sense. And when that time comes, who should you date? Answer: a Christian who will pull you closer to Jesus.
Not just someone who says they’re a Christian. Not just someone who sometimes comes to church or youth. But someone who is serious about Jesus. Someone who will help you love him more, obey him more, and keep going with him.
Because you don’t want to yoke yourself to someone who pulls you away.
Story 1
I’ve seen this happen. I had a friend called Huldah (not her real name) who dated a non-Christian. He was a really, really nice guy. He was happy for her to go to church, he just wasn't interested. She told her friends that she and this guy were just more compatible than she was with the guys at church. The guys at church seemed a bit immature. This guy seemed kinder, more thoughtful, more grown up.
So she went out with him. And at first, she kept coming to church. She still called herself a Christian. But gradually she started to drift. Eventually she married him. And over the years, she drifted further and further. She still calls herself a Christian. She still goes to church on the odd occasion. But her life has moved a long way from where it was. Now they have kids, and those kids barely get to go to church and hear about Jesus.
It’s been really sad to see.
Not because he was a terrible guy. From all accounts, he was a delightful bloke: kind, easygoing, pleasant to be around. And it’s not as though he was actively trying to drag her away from Jesus either. He wasn’t saying, “Don’t go to church.” He wasn’t mocking her faith. He was totally fine with her going.
But, to be honest, he didn’t need to actively pull her away. He was simply walking in a different direction. His life was built around different loves, different priorities, a different vision of what matters. And when you bind yourself closely to someone like that, their direction starts to shape yours.
That’s how influence often works. Not by force. Not by obvious opposition. Not by someone sitting you down and saying, “Please love Jesus less.” It’s quieter than that. It happens through weekends, habits, priorities, conversations, money, time, affection, and the ordinary rhythms of life.
And over time, even a very chill unbeliever can become a very powerful influence. Not because they’re nasty. Not because they hate Christianity. But because they don’t share your deepest allegiance.
They might be happy for you to go to church. But they won’t help you keep Jesus at the centre. They won’t naturally push you towards holiness. They won’t pray with you. They won’t remind you of the gospel. They won’t help you raise your eyes to eternity.
And eventually, that matters.
Occasionally, you’ll hear a different kind of story. Someone dates a non-Christian. The non-Christian starts checking out Jesus. They become a Christian. And everyone says, “See? It worked.”
But even then, it’s not as simple as it sounds.
Story 2
I know of a bloke who dated a non-Christian, hoping it might lead them to Jesus, the old “flirt to convert” strategy. Eventually, she did start checking out Christianity. She became a Christian. Then she read 2 Corinthians 6:14: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers.” And she had a really good question for him: “Why were you dating me when my whole outlook on life was so different to yours? Was Jesus that unimportant to you?” She kept following Jesus. But she broke up with him. Great outcome for her. Pretty awkward outcome for the relationship.
So yes, this passage is bigger than dating. But the logic of this passage certainly applies to dating. If you belong to the living God as his child, don’t bind yourself to someone who pulls you away from him. Date, and eventually marry, someone who helps you enjoy what is already yours: closeness with God as your Father. Or don’t date at all. Singleness is really good too (see 1 Corinthians 7).
Discussion Questions
Pray and Get Going
1.Have you ever realised that spending lots of time with a person or group started to shape you more than you expected? What happened?
Look at 2 Corinthians 6:14–18
2. What does it mean to be “yoked together”?
3. What five questions does Paul ask to discourage Christians from being yoked together with unbelievers?
4. Why does Paul mention the temple thing?
5. How does God want us to behave instead?
6. Where in your life are you most likely to let something pull you away from Jesus?
romantic relationships with non-Christians
close friendships that normalise sin
online influencers or creators who shape your values away from Christ
ambitions that crowd out wholehearted devotion to Jesus
7. How can we make sure we’re not yoked where we don’t want to be yoked?
Pray and Give Thanks
Father, thank you that you are the living God and that through Christ we belong to you. Please help us not to bind ourselves to anything that pulls us away from you, but to live as your holy people, trusting your promises and rejoicing that you are our Father. Amen.
